I've felt like this before. It's sad to say that even though I know God delivered me from this before I am still worried, confused, and stressed. I feel alone. It seems as though I can't go to any of my friends or roommates for anything because they will tell their girlfriends or their girlfriends will tell other people. If God created us to be in community, where is it?
There are three friends of mine that I feel I could go to, but two of them are two plus hours away. The only way to communicate is to text or call them and I need more than that. (I don't blame ya'll for that it's just hard sometimes.) The other is here at school with me, but I don't want to go to her. I mean I want to but I can't not right now. I know she cares about me but I don't feel that right now. So I'm away from everyone who truly cares about me.
I know God is there and that I can trust him and his will for my life is good; better than anything I could think of. So I feel alone, here at school surrounded by all of my "friends." And in a few months I will be backpacking through Africa 8,000 plus miles away with people I've never met reaching people groups I've never heard of or seen. Besides God putting everything together I am alone! Physically I will more alone than I am right now. I can't even begin to think how I will feel mentally.
So far I have had very little support from friends and family for this trip. I have received a lot of "good lucks" and "I'd like to helps" but I can only answer those with "thanks" and "here's how..." Other than that I haven't got a lot of spiritual or financial help. God said he will provide for this trip through friends and family. So far I've had just over ten people give donations of $25+. I have less than $800 paid and my trip costs $5300. I need support. I need help. Prayers are so important for this mission. So if you could first pray and ask God what you should do for this trip specifically. Second act on what he instructs. Please show love to me by sending me to Africa. God called and ask "whom shall I send?" I answered "Send me. I'll go."
I am selling wristbands for $5 and they say "Send Me! I'll Go!" because that is what God wants of us. No hesitation. No looking right or left just following and trusting him.
I hope in writing this I don't sound too depressed. I know that this time in my life however bad it might seem will bring me closer to God. That's what I need and that's what I want. Listen to "The More I Seek You" and pray that that is true for you. In God we have peace. I just want everyone to know what I am going through and what I am preparing for. Less than 130 days from now I will on a plane to Africa. Pray for me. If you could pray specifically for my physical, mental, and spiritual abilities to be at where God needs them most. That God goes before me and prepares my path and opens the hearts and minds of the people I come into contact with. Also lift up my group that I will be backpacking with. And pray that this entire trip and your's and my lives glorify the LORD.
"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31